---
title: Thoughts After Beating Myself Up
description: Blog post - Thoughts After Beating Myself Up - How to cope with the pain of external criticism when we are already feeling vulnerable and hurt.
---

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 December 1, 2024

# Thoughts After Beating Myself Up

![Picture of Thomas B. Cox](https://bestboss.biz/hs-fs/hubfs/thomas%20speaking%20action%20lugano-1.jpg?width=50&name=thomas%20speaking%20action%20lugano-1.jpg) By  [Thomas B. Cox](https://bestboss.biz/blog/author/thomas-b-cox)  ·   1 minute read

![woman covering her face with both hands](https://bestboss.biz/hs-fs/hubfs/blog%20cropped%20sadness%20dev-asangbam-_sh9vkVbVgo-unsplash.jpg?width=347&height=249&name=blog%20cropped%20sadness%20dev-asangbam-_sh9vkVbVgo-unsplash.jpg)There's this thing that happens where I'm beating myself up, or I'm aware of some weakness or failure. And I metaphorically bruise myself. 

Then all someone else has to do is touch that spot, and it hurts -- because there's already this bruise there. The other person didn't bruise me, but the touch hurts, and I'll flinch and cry out and even lash out because of the pain.

If you're the one being lashed, try to empathize with their pain.

If you're the lasher, notice, stop, and apologize.

Have empathy for the other person, and for yourself. Own the bruise, explain what's going on, and reconnect with the other person's positive and loving intentions.

 

Photo by [Dev Asangbam](https://unsplash.com/@devasangbam?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/images/feelings/sad?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)

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